The Story that started on 19th January 2009 is on the verge of end ... I lost more than I achieved But I learned a lesson that is much more valuable than anything ever I achieved.

Thanks for everything, I am sorry for things I did intentionally and unintentionally.

This is not my end this is the end that part of my life which I believe to archive in my Elphinstone Memories section.

Everybody have moved on ... and Its time for me to move on.

Thank you folks... Keep track for my next story the "The Ace of Spades" A Prediction of my journey to the top....

So on folks ...

Kurt Kobain Sucide Note

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement [sic] of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.
For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury[sic], who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.
I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney
for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU

New Lease - LuckByChance Aftermath

Well where are everybody from the LuckByChance Saga...

1. Mr PB - I don't have the exact update but he is working for a firm in Charni Road as a Data Entry Operator

2. Mr Prince of Orrisa is working in a firm in Churchgate

3. Mr Extreme is doing his Master in Information Technology

4. Rest Small time characters are working and studying

LuckByChance is working she has moved into her dream home she waited for almost a year for it she is happy with her job we are in touch and speak once a while (Finally mobile bill in control).

But we frequently sms each other...

This is not the end...Journey will continue

You folks might be thinking where am I ...

I am doing my CCNA Cisco Certified Network Associate and also Working on a Project with Google.

Have lost considerable amount of weight...

But I still have the love for LuckByChance inside me

Leave The Memories Alone...

Things changed .. from good..to bad..to worst. I did every possible thing to have her. But now I feel wasted. She doesn't even recognize me anymore. Why what did I do anything wrong. Now am down ..somewhere below where the sun don't shine trying to find my self.

LuckByChance she has moved on leaving me deserted and all alone once again. Lost my friends, failed to graduate and life have hit the brakes.

Don't know why she doesn't care for what I did for her. Can love be so mean?
I lost a fortune for her. My love has started to fade now which I didn't wanted too. I force self realize that she wasn't the girl who I wanted to walk with me ....

I am listening to this song by Linkin Park

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

But as it is always been told raise from the ashes. I promise that I would and she would regret leaving me alone.

I will raise......

LuckByChance Saga - "Missing Her"

Its been long real long. I haven't seen her and I am really not able to cope up with my studies. Well My university exams were bad real bad and I think I would not graduate this June.

Same thing with LuckByChance but I hope she clears all her subject. She isn't feeling well since last 4 days am really worried for her.

Last night I called and she didn't reply back. Well I though when you don't see or speak with the person you are in love. I am feeling real low again. I don't understand what should I do so she starts loving me. I may sound maniac sick but that's the fact I mean I feel she is the girl I was looking for so long.

There was a time when every hot girl use to turn me on. But now I don't feel the same because I have changed a lot I tried going back to old myself but I think I and lost him somewhere very far behind.

LuckByChance I really love her to the greatest extent of what you say is "Love" and I don't know whats there for me in future and thats was causing me to only leave in present.

God please ....

"So Far Away" by Staind

This is my life
its not what it was before
all these feelings I've shared
and these are my dreams
that I'd never lived before
somebody shake me
cuz i
i must be sleeping

now that we're here,
it's so far away
all the struggle we thought was in vain
all in the mistakes,
one life contained
they all finally start to go away
now that we're here its so far away
and i feel like i can face the day i can forgive
and I'm not ashamed to be the person that i am today

these are my words
that I've never said before
i think I'm doing okay
and this is the smile
that I've never shown before

somebody shake me cuz i
i must be sleeping

I'm so afraid of waking
please don't shake me
afraid of waking
please don't shake me

LuckByChance saga - The Fact or Fiction

This is real weird stuff .On Saturday 6th of April I had gone to college to sign my Exam Hall Ticket..LuckByChance and me chatted for a while ..but due to a friend Suraj who had come to college after a recovering from accident had to spend time with him.. I told LuckByChance to wait ....well she asked me to come fast..

Well after hanging around with suraj ..I came to college ..while I was at the gate ..LuckByChance came out with Mr Prince of Orissa and his pals .. Well I didn't feel anything wrong as Mr Prince of Orissa and his pal were old friends of LuckByChance.

I didn't ask her where she was going just asked ..when will she comeback...But due to time constraint I was also not able to wait much longer.

But we caught up at a point ..I asked her to give me call when she would catch her train back home.

Well So while going back home she called ..well the conversation started with the usual stuff about studies and college.

Well then later she told me about her depleting saving ..I told her to give the money to me and so I can save it for her. Later I told her that after exam she, me and Mr Extreme would go for shopping at Bandra. She said the she wanted Mr PB ( my former friend) to join as well

Well now the interesting stuff starts ..she asked me why do I hate Mr PB so much as he and me were good friend. I said "As if you don't know"..

Well she told that the reason for my and Mr PB's friendship gone soar was her ..actually she asked PB to act as her Boy Friend so I can get over her ..Because she feels that my and her relationship wasn't meant to happen ...and had no future ...

And what ever Mr PB did was all on her orders ...But But But ..I due time ..Mr PB and LuckByChance started to like each other (Am I sick).

Now ..my Brain had a major "TILT" I mean ..whatever she said is it Fact or is it Fiction ...because there are so many loop holes ...

Also if its fact then Mr PB need to get Oscar for best actor and LuckByChance for best script ...

but on other side ... It's not possible for me to get over LuckByChance ..because I love her more than anyone on this planet and I really don't know why ?

Keep track peeps ...god knows where am I heading

LuckByChance Saga - "Mr Prince of Orissa" the Truth

I still don't know ..is it love or friendship ...that make me comfortable with "LuckByChance" but its feels good to be with her talk to her ...We met accidentally well ..there was this guy "Mr Prince of Orissa" who was infatuated with her .."I really don't know the truth yet" But he was like crazy ..over possessive and kinda person ...

Well certainly if he wouldn't have acted funny he and her would have been a great couples ..but you know ..the whats gonna happen ..will happen ...

So this guy was over possessive ..weird behaving led "LuckByChance" to maintain a safe distance... so god knows ..what struck him he asked for help from me .. I mean he and me and completely different people.

So I called her up ..asked her what was the problem ...and asked "Mr Prince of Orissa" his side of story ...then I came to conclusion ..that "Mr Prince of Orissa" ain't a prince he is a douchebag ...I mean I always believe that when you love someone you need to give them their space too ..

But the "Mr Prince" was big time jerky ... he asked boy from our class not to talk to her ...which made her feel offensive.. and caused more crack in their relationship.

Finally I stepped in as negotiate ..well I did my best convincing her that ...Mr Prince was a nice guy ..he is away from his family which led him to his over possessive behaviour.

Well I did my level best ..finally I brought them face to face ..now well there you see things got out of hand here ..Mr Prince had hidden so many stuff from me ..that ...I really left dumb struck ..when "LuckByChance" ripped him apart.

Well after that .. "Mr Prince" blamed me .. that's when I had a shoot up ...

After that ..I am Mr Prince weren't talking terms ...end of story ...

But Mr Prince if you read this ... I would like to say ..one thing

I ain't that good ..nor that Bad

LuckByChance Saga - "No Answer"

Well I have been calling "LuckByChance" since last two days ...she didn't even bother to pick up my call or reply back with a SMS or anything ...actually I was calling her to give my new cell number.
There were days ..when she use to give me a miscall and we used to talk ..till my mobile balance would get over ...gone were the days now ...I really miss her every second ..but she ..really don't care for me anymore ..

What did I do wrong confessing ..to someone that you love her is a crime ..or what I mean ..I did every possible thing help her in everything ..from her project to her assignment ...

You ask me to be the same forever ..but she has changed so much I mean ...I feel I don't exist for her anymore...

Sometimes I feel to leave all and go in exile ..but that would not effect her but me ,my friends and family ...

"Love sees no religion ..no caste ...Love is unconditional"

I will still wait for her ...

Keep tracks peeps

Day 3 - Trying Hard Now

Well sorry was extremely busy yesterday so couldn't update ...
As usual got up at 5 went for a jog ..ran 5 Laps

Did bit of ab crunches

well the temperature in Bombay (mumbai) is soaring at 40°C and is extremely hot due to which one get tired fast ..but drinking lots of water helps you maintain your body temperature to normal.

Diet

Morning had White bread with cheese spread and Tea

Afternoon had lots of Fig (anjeer)

evening had cheese sandwich

Night 2 Indian Bread (Roti) and curry

well the overall calorie consumption is very low

Hoping to get good results as my body starts getting use to the working regime and gradually will increase the pace and strength

LuckByChance Saga - Don't know why?

Well it was strange ...I had previously gone out with many girls ...made out with few as well but ..This girl "LuckByChance" is the only girl who cracked my hard heart.

I mean for me girls were like pleasure stuff and I believed that there was nothing like love ..I remember saying that Love starts from heart and Ends between your legs.

But in case of "LuckByChance" I don't know why I get completely floored. I stopped using foul language, fooling around,attend college regularly, started to listening to Romantic HINDI songs (waste of time), even started watching her favorite television show so I can like discuss with her about the show,Big big chance I stopped having junk food.

Also before I met "LuckByChance" my monthly phone bill was Rs 100 (USD 2$) or even less now its around Rs 500 (USD 10$) also my dad and mom cut my Pocket money to almost half that is Rs 750 (USD 15$) per month. But I had do small jobs so i can take "LuckByChance" out on lunch and for sandwhich stuff ...Even had to sometimes pay her mobile bill.

I read somewhere that when you love someone or want someone to be yours from bottom of your heart the powers in universe come together to fulfill your wish.
If thats true I still can hope every morning that "LuckByChance" will love me.

Ok peeps keep track

Day 2 - Lazed and Cheated

Well day 2 of my conquest to Mr Hot ...was pretty low ..but by evening something really bad stuff happened ..which pushed me to moved ahead faster read on...

Today I was really tired my body was aching like hell so I had to skip my early morning workout ...8 min abs and thigh workout seemed easy but my stomach and thighs are paining badly doctor told that its normal ..to have pain as I have worked out after a long period of time

So morning Diet Had just 4 cookies and tea
Afternoon nothing just 2 toast and jam
but i was not able to control my hunger so had Rice and Indian Bread (Roti) with Mushroom Masala

But today ...tried bit of Dancing or I would say jumping and hopping around the house ...was a good workout as well.

2 Days ..feeling bit light now ...

Keep track peeps

LuckByChance Saga - Strange Day

Well I SmS ...LuckByChance everyday ...but nowadays she hardly replies don't know why but I don't feel bad ...Its like you do good ..do your best and forget the rest.

Today March 31 2009 ..I woke up early as usual to workout ..around 8'0 Clock I sent a SmS to her ...but strange was ..I usually get the delivery report by 11 but today ...it was instantly delivered

I mean ..if we have no college ..she sleep till 10 ..11 and her cellphone is Switched off ...but strange part ..today it was on so early ..Strange

Well today being no college ..I gonna miss her a lot ... but the worst is yet to come ...because as our exams start ...from 15th April ...I will not be able to see or even speak to her for almost 20 days at a stretch ...Good God why why why ....

But I am sure she will not call me either ...rather she would call Mr PB ...the villain no 2 .. Mr PB is a good student ..he ranked 4th in class during our semesters ...and I was way down with the just above average students.

LuckByChance was even still below ..I was happy with whatever she got ..because it was her own hardwork ...Mr PB was not even in scene during the results ..and I was there trying to Boost LuckByChance.

Anyways ..the Saga will continue ... Later today will post my ..weightloss progress and diet

Keep track peeps

LuckByChance Saga - Episode 1

Well today I had submissions in my college ...And "LuckByChance" was also gonna come to college.. I was really happy with it as I was gonna see her after 3 days..
Even her glimpse ...make me feel I have reached heaven ... Don't know why ...but this the girl ...who makes me feel really king of the world ...

But here are the villains ..Mr Extreme was acting funny ..as usual ..who is Mr Extreme ..well for him she is an extreme friend and she needs to be with him 24/7 ..gimme a break for Christ sake

Villain no 2 ...Mr PB ...well me and PB had a very close friendship ..before he whooped my ass ... had a showdown with him .. but don't know why "LuckByChance" adores and trust him so much.
...Who cares anyway ...

Villain no 3 Mr Prince of Orissa ...now this is a different story Prince of Orissa was and still in love with LuckByChance ...don't know why he asked me for help ..in first place ..But ..you see when you ask for help from devil ..you need to mortgage your soul ...he did and paid the price
LuckByChace ..no don't find him good or bad ....for her he doesn't exist..

Now me Mr Roachboy ...I love LuckByChance more than anyone on this planet ...and i gonna prove it to her ....even if ..i will have to kill the villians ...

Anyways keep track peeps ..will share some interesting ..stuff

Day 1 - The Conquest Begins

Morning 5 my alarm ..goes of. Just had 5 hrs sleep was feeling bit rigid but had to get up and get rolling..

Anyhow I managed to get up from the comfort of my bed ...took a wash and there I am all set to start the Day1

Check my play list for the workout

1. Gonna Fly now - Rocky - Really gives you workout high
2. Sweet child of mine - Guns'n Roses
3. Not Enough - Our Lady of peace
4. To be loved - Papa Roach

Well jogged for 30 min without stopping ...My heart was pounding like hell ...was almost exhausted ..but then suddenly ...I took out "LuckByChance" her pic and there ....50% recharged my energy

Took a slight break ...and went ahead with abs and thighs workout. The simple ones

Well 40 mins of workout on day 1 was really good ..my body started to respond well to it.

No the Food or in your words diet

Breakfast - Had White Bread slice with tea

Afternoon - Just 7UP - Fizzed soft drink - Its bad don't drink ..the weather was hot so had no options

Evening - Had 3 small sandwich.

Night - Nothing empty stomach will help you get up early in morning and make you feel light

Done with the food for the day 1

It's all about Love

Well hope you must have got some idea what ..this blog is about and what am talking about...well if you want more details

then I love this girl ...for me she is everything ...she does know about my feeling but she takes me a good friend and nothing else

But I just don't wanna be her friend I want to be special ..to her same way she is for me.

I have every possible talent ..but my weight issue and my bulky large body can turn off any girl. Also I am way to childish like the character

of Dave coulier in the television series "Full house" but he was also smart

I ain't that smart. Well I was completely down & out .. But then I went to my movie collections and took out the DVD'S of Sylvester Stallone’s ROCKY series of movies

By the time I reach the final part ...The whole adrenalin was flushed from my body and have decided that

Lets Kick some ass ...Baby

Yeah I gonna do best push myself to extreme limits and Will achieve the best personality.. that can put even Casanova to shame

Well I am charting out ...will post the details of my daily routine in my next post.

Also before siging off I want to share these lines from hit song


BON JOVI-"It's My Life"

“This ain't a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud”

Keep track peeps

All about 60 Days

You people may be wondering what this blog is about well. Read ahead
Have you ever been a Loser, jerk, weirdo ...Talentless , non famous or anything that you think has disgraced your existence.

Well most of the above things are true for me. But now I gonna prove all of those and also to those people who think I am nothing.

60 Days what I need to change myself. Yes 60 days ... I will change everything in me.

From a geeky ...nerdy ...fat ass to a Lean mean ..son of love and rage and the Mr Hot.

I will try everything that i felt can't be done by me.

I am working on list will post it tomorrow, And a get ready with the regime to change. Every slightest details ..everything I will post here including my picture.

I love you sweetheart ..I am doing all this just to prove I love you more than anyone on this planet "LuckByChance"

Keep track peeps